The New Rules to Social Success in 2019, According to the Truly Rich Lady
My Truly Rich Friends, especially the old ones, will not be happy to know that I am sharing these shortcuts to success with you, my Not So Rich readers. But I see myself as Queen of the People, and so to the ordinary people who endeavor to be Truly Rich, here are the New Rules of Social Mountaineering.
New Rule 1: Be on social media.
Being elusive remains a signifier of the Truly Rich, but that doesn’t mean you should be out of touch with the people. Just look what happened to the Russian and French royals?
It will serve you well to have a social media account where you can post (sporadically!) choice morsels of your life like, say, a mysterious corner of an old church (that is actually just your bathroom) or that time when you visited a dog shelter.
The more imperfect the shot, the better because, they say, it feels real and also shows you have no time for mundane things like editing and framing. That’s what assistants are for.
New Rule 2: Re-learn how to speak.
Over too many glasses of wine, an acquaintance who is not Truly Rich said to me: “All you rich people speak funny. The words you say sound like they’re coming from the inside of the bottle? And why do you insist on always whispering?”
At first, I was aghast at the impudence of this person (I had someone escort her to the door), but later on, as I observed the way I, my Truly Rich Mother, our Truly Rich Foreign Neighbor, and all the other Truly Rich Folk speak, I realized that what she said rang true. (I am a bottle.)
There appears to be a particular sound, and that is fortunate for those who want to appear Truly Rich. You can at least make like a parrot and mimic the feeling.
New Rule 3: Adopt a style.
Truly Rich Style can be divided into two camps: Are you a Catherine or a Meghan? Catherine is ever proper. Her favorite color is beige and all its many versions. She has never met a ruffle she did not like. And her idea of excitement is a kooky hat.
Meghan is a little bit experimental. She loves a slim pair of jeans with carefully placed rips. She wears a perfectly messy bun. She sometimes forgets to wear stockings. She might be French!
Both are acceptable templates of Truly Rich (and even royal) dress.
New Rule 4: Take on a role (at the party).
It is in my opinion that it is better to be the one who introduces people to each other rather than be the person who is always introduced to someone. It shows command of the room, a mastery of manners, and your supreme status in the circle.
Now, the delivery matters. Of course, follow the proper protocol (introduce the less important person to the more important person), but sometimes, just to show how cool you are, you can do it in a disinterested way. As in: “Oh yeah, this is So-so, who is the CEO of This and That.”
New Rule 5: Choose love or fear.
Just one. Never both. That’s cheating. And greedy. Win the hearts of people with sincerity and kindness (like me!) or rule them all with a firm hand (sometimes also like me).
Although, as I have observed, the kind heart only becomes the firm hand under the pressure of expectation or a multi-billion company. The point is you’ll want people to follow you, because who will do the things you don’t want to do like the item below?
New Rule 6: Stop driving.
If you know how to drive, forget how to do it. The Truly Rich is driven. “But Si-si I do not have a driver!” you cry. Well, get yourself one. A boyfriend does not count.
New Rule 7: Get a membership (at the ultra-exclusive pre-school).
Forget private clubs. They’re overrated and criminally expensive (also, this year, they were messy). The private pre-school that only accepts less than 40 students a year and has a two-to-one ratio of teachers to students is the new must-have membership.
With your son embedded among future CEOs, COOs, CMOs, and more, it will become easier to infiltrate the closed circle of the Truly Rich. All it takes is a playdate with the daughter of the daughter of the son of the old billionaire. Bring snacks.
New Rule 8: Don’t follow these rules.
If you have been following the Truly Rich Lady for a long time, you know these shortcuts are smoke and mirrors. To be Truly Rich takes time (generations, actually), so while it will be fun to feign the part of Queen of the People, it would lead to disaster if you believe the illusion.
Might I suggest following the spirit of the Truly Rich instead, which is, I think, living the fullest and also most fabulous life that is within your