Manners & Misdemeanors
The Truly Rich Lady's Alternative Answers to the Miss Universe Pageant Questions
Off the top of her head.

What are you most excited about and what concerns you when it comes to the presidency of Donald Trump?

I would like to let everyone know that the color orange is believed to offer emotional strength in most difficult times. Thank you.

Why do you think violence is prevalent in today’s society, and what can we do about it?

It is because people don’t exercise. To borrow from one iconic blonde: Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands—or use their fists to solve a conflict. We should all do well and engage in a moderately active sport that will make us all feel better. Is the condo guard being particularly uncooperative? Leg lift that annoyance away! Are the Shenzhen Nongke orchids not available? Assume the goddess pose! Did someone eat your for-emergencies-only stash of cheddar and sour cream chips? Goddamit. I mean, power up the Ciclotte! 

On January 21st, an estimated 4.8 million people marched worldwide for human rights, women’s rights, and other issues. If you were able to participate, who would you be marching for?

I would march for all women who continue to be confined by patriarchal ideals. Because who’s to say that we can’t lead a country, or make fat babies, or put on a look-at-me-dress, or solve an economic crisis? Who’s to say we can’t do anything? My mother pushed me out and into this world by herself. No, really. For some reason, Father was somewhere else (late as usual), and so Reliable Driver drove Mother, who held on to both of our dear lives and delivered me, without issue, as soon as she landed in the maternity ward. Next day, she was arranging a party—for my father.

Name a current or past world leader whom you admire, and why?


Why, no one else but the empress of fashion, Coco Chanel. She revolutionized the way women dressed by popularizing the wearing of pants, putting straps on little bags, and inventing that immortal armor, the Chanel boucle suit. She also told us to wear ropes and ropes of pearls and made it more than okay to include costume jewelry. She was a woman who rewrote all kinds of rules. And to this day, whenever I am faced with something impossible, I ask myself, “What would Coco do?” 

What is the most significant change you’ve seen in the world in the last 10 years?

How everything is on the Internet nowadays. I am still getting used to having access to random lives of friends, acquaintances, and strangers, and I am still figuring out if this is a marvelous thing or not.

Given today's worldwide refugee crisis, do countries have an obligation to accept refugees or do they have a right to close their borders?

I once hosted a small party for 30 at my pied-a-terre in Makati, but for some reason, even if I said R.S.V.P. on the invite, there were many people who arrived that did not confirm their attendance. Of course, I would not turn them away at the door. So I rearranged the dinner setting, told my assistants to order as many of my favorite dishes from the fine establishments nearby, and had a wonderful time with more people. We can all make merry with as many people if we just put in the work. 

Name something in your life that you failed at, and tell us what you learned from that experience.

I once failed to realize that what was being promised to me were just words. Silly me thought that a happy ending of chocolate Labradors, a French-style home, and various after-school activities for little ones would come true. I very much looked forward to it, but it all went kaput. Now, I’ve learned to paint that full and happy picture all by myself. I’ve also learned how to spot liars better. #soveryhappy 






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