'You Are Fat,' and Other Tactless Things You Shouldn't Be Saying
Got questions for the Truly Rich Lady? E-mail [email protected].
I am of the belief that, in social gatherings, if everyone says what’s really on his or her mind, no one will come out alive. Sequins will fly. Silk-twill scarves will be snatched from necks. The dumpling soup will be thrown onto laps. Personal bodyguards will be summoned. It will be so much fun until the lawsuits. And that’s why the Truly Rich Lady does her best to mind her mouth.
I asked my friend, linguistics expert and renowned chatterbox
Ummm, I hadn't been referring to that, but asked the doctor to go on. “I should have used the Four Second Rule,” she said, shaking her head. “Whenever you feel the urge to spit out a questionable observation, take four seconds to think about your intention, calm your spirit, and if it really needs to be said, soften your declaration.”
How to do this? According to the new book Mouthy: Tacking Your Verbal Tackiness, remember the double Ds, as in dress or deflect. Coat the bitter pill in sugar or, if that doesn’t work, lead her away from the obvious. “Or just don’t attend the party,” said
Here are a few examples:
Acceptable: "Please do try these mangoes from our farm. It's fruit season, and my brother has brought home enough to fill a truck!"
Acceptable: "I'm so happy to see the two of you together!" This may read as a backhanded comment. Put on an earnest face.
Acceptable: “How you’ve grown!” This only works with young people that you have not seen recently. Or “You are absolutely blooming!” She will not be able to tell if you are referring to the enormous situation or her face, which is plump and therefore cute.
Acceptable: “What a beauty she will be when she grows up!" Do not provide additional explanation.
Acceptable: “You look different. Tell me your secret!”
Acceptable: “I know a new place. Let’s go shopping right now!” Follow up by actually shopping.
Acceptable: “There’s a call for you in the bedroom.” Lead her to the room and lock it.
The right words will do the trick, but sometimes actions are more effective. True story: After losing a smallish fortune on a losing investment, my Truly Rich Best Friend wanted to try a new look. And so she got choppy bangs! It was a hair crime. She looked like my nephew’s Cocker Spaniel after it had lost a fight with a cat, but I didn’t dare tell her that. We’d only been friends for eight years at the time and she was (slightly) truly richer than me.
Instead, I decided to secure an impossible appointment with a superior hairstylist in her name. I told her it was a gift, and she got the hint. The following week she, with her new ‘do, booked me a body sculpting package at the beauty