Manners & Misdemeanors

Tacky Posts to Avoid on Facebook, Instagram, and More

Some rules to live by if you want to be like the refined rich.
IMAGE Pixabay & NYPL Digital Library
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Before saying or posting anything online for public consumption, think about your intention. “What would Kate Middleton do?” might be a good starting point. 

1. Avoid referring to anything as yours unless it’s really, you know, yours. Like your toothbrush. Using “my” to refer to people who work with you or even for you can be disconcerting, as in, “I will send my girl to pick up the croissants.” To sound modest, switch to using “ours”—as in “our features editor,” “our team,” “our staff.” More than making you sound humble, it will also show that you're a good leader—someone who considers himself a part of a whole and an ideal team player.

2. Throwback Thursday, or #TBT, is only cool and acceptable for decades-old photos of you and your siblings or wonderful memories you’d like to commemorate. Refrain from making #TBT an opportunity to brag for the nth time about that luxurious spa weekend you had at The Royal Mansour in Marrakech just 12 days ago. “#TBT: Already missing The Royal Mansour Marrakech’s purity of white, punctuated by the colorful floral bouquets and the serenity of the surroundings, only interrupted by the melodious birdsong and the soothing sounds of the water fountains” as a caption to match your bikini photo doesn’t count as a throwback.

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3. Yes, we noticed your gorgeous new crocodile skin purse at the tea party. You didn’t have to ask your ever-loyal BFF to hand over your “Hermès Birkin” for everyone to overhear. When referring to your marvelous possessions, let them speak for themselves and no need to namedrop when referring to your watch, car, or shoes. What time is it? “Oh, let me check my show-pahrd.” “I’m just waiting for my Rolls-Royce to pick me up.” “I tripped in my Manolos. Ugh.” Yes, ugh. 

4. Exactly how long did you have to wait for Gracious Dinner Host to mention the Grand Party of the Year so you could carefully (but obviously) namedrop your Affluent Award-Winning Cultural Icon uncle whose best friend’s brother attended the event? Trust us, everyone will react the way you want. But they will also forever remember this social transgression. If your goal for namedropping is to be classified among this aristocratic crowd, know that you are better off sounding nice, natural, and real. The Refined Rich will like you for who you are, not for who you know. 

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5. We get it—you are a non-celebrity who has an inner urge to display evidence of your wealth on social media whether via a logoed lambskin wallet “indiscriminately” peeking through your morning coffee IG post (“Rise and shine!”) or through “incidental” selfies set against your recent acquisition of paintings by two sought-after artists hanging on the wall (“Just got home! Must take a nap.”). But no amount of subtlety can conceal your I Am Rich bulletin when your true intention is to tell the world that you are. Your followers are only getting one of these two messages: that you are a boastful newcomer into the Loaded League, or you are a poser. For various reasons that will benefit your reputation and ensure your safety, take a cue from the Refined Rich, who value being more but seeming less.

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About The Author
Nicole Limos Morales
Managing Editor
Nicole’s career in publishing began in 2006. Before becoming Town & Country online’s managing editor, she moved from features editor to beauty editor of the title’s print edition. “The lessons in publishing are countless,” she says. “The most crucial ones for me? That to write best about life, you need to live your life. And another I still struggle to live by: ‘Brevity is a virtue; verbosity is a vice.’”
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