Hobbies
What Your Favorite Pool Float Says About You
From the pink flamingo to the pizza slice, here’s our unscientific personality assessment based on your inflatable of choice.
IMAGE SCHILDHORN/BFA/REX/SHUTTERSTOCK
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It's like Myers–Briggs for millennials!

Pink Flamingo


$20 (P1,000)

You are painfully and unapologetically basic. You’ve donated to countless medical research charities in hopes that maybe—just maybe—they might one day find a cure for hangovers. The ability to mainline Whispering Angel (rather than having to actually drink it) is something you dream about often. Cheers!

Private Jet


$99 (P4,950)

The Wolf of Wall Street, in your opinion, is a work of cinematic genius. You’re certain that anyone who feels otherwise knows absolutely nothing about film.

Brachiosaurus


$48 (P2,400)

As a child, when your parents asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up, you said, matter-of-factly, “a wizard.” That is until you saw Jurassic Park. It was something of a spiritual awakening, which ultimately led you to your current profession in archaeology. Prehistoric climate change is a subject that really gets you going.

Unicorn


$99 (P4,950)

Wait, did I bump into you at Coachella? Thought so. On Wednesdays you wear pink, and on Fridays, you treat yourself to a grande iced skinny vanilla latte with a dime-sized sprinkle of cinnamon on top. Last week, you almost had a meltdown upon realizing that the barista mistakenly used HALF AND HALF in your “skinny” iced beverage.

Mechanical Bull


$102.50 (P5,125)

You are an absolute monster. Pledging a fraternity (ten years ago) is a decision you still consider one of the best you’ve ever made—second only to accepting that baller middle-management job at Goldman Sachs.

High Heel


$30 (P1,500)

You’re the girl who wears heels to a pool party. That is all.

Extra-Large Adjustable Pool Chaise


$399 (P19,950)

You are the textbook definition of extra. You live in a world where spending $400 on an adjustable pool chaise is perfectly acceptable behavior. Why would you let something as silly as money get in the way of your comfort? Being the best—and having the best—is simply in your DNA. Your college dorm room probably looked like this.

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Pizza Slice


$48 (P2,400)

Your entire Instagram feed consists of food posts. One time, @Infatuation commented on a photo you posted of avocado toast and life hasn’t been the same since. On any given day, eight out of ten tabs in your browser window are dedicated to Yelp reviews for the chic Italian ristorante you’re going to this weekend. You’ve spent an inordinate amount of time deciding whether you’ll order the squid ink tagliatelle or the truffled flatbread pizza. You’re obsessed with eating, and yet, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to gain weight!

Killer Whale


$10 (P500)

You’re a traditionalist and you don’t take well to change—an unabashed control freak who says things like “Buckle up, it’s the law!” with zero sense of irony. Your float of choice is one that comes outfitted with plastic handles because…safety first, naturally.

This story originally appeared on Townandcountrymag.com.

* Minor edits have been made by the Townandcountry.ph editors.

* Prices are based on the currency rate of $1 = PHP 50.

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Lindsay Silberman
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