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The Truly Rich Lady's Inner Ramblings About THAT Jollibee Video
Yes, she watched it too. Everyone did.
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My Old Yaya, a wise woman, asked me this morning to watch a certain short film as soon as possible and, because the tone of her iMessage was so urgent, I asked my assistant to search for the clip on YouTube.

So I watched it tonight, after I woke up from my long nap. I'm still getting over jetlag, as usual.

Umm, what did I just watch, Old Yaya? What are you trying to tell me?

Yes, I do believe serendipitous moments may happen in one's life, and it is just as likely that this magical moment may involve a plate of roasted squab with braised cabbage from Le Coq Rico in Manhattan as it may happen with an order of two pieces of flaming chicken with a serving of extra carbs from a fast-food joint on Anywhere Street.

Why did the young man in this short film not capitalize on these many moments? Why did he follow the young woman like a puppy on a short leash? Why did he not have the confidence to profess his feelings? Is this the mode right now among young people? What does chicken served on a plastic tray taste like?

I think that Love at First Sight, though a thought that can make anyone's eyes roll so far back in one's head as to cause temporary blindness, can be a real thing, and that unrequited love, an occupation as lonely and beautiful since the time of Marc Anthony and Cleopatra, is always poignant.


And so this little video is telling me true things, sad things, and food things, because there is also a subtext about chicken and fruit juice that I hope is freshly squeezed.

But I have so many questions!

Why did the young man of this short film not capitalize on these many moments? Why did he follow the young woman like a puppy on a short leash? Why did he not have the confidence to profess his feelings? Is this the mode right now among young people? What does chicken served on a plastic tray taste like?

And why is the woman so oblivious to the man’s feelings? Why did she leave him after he pushed her decrepit jalopy back to life (rude)? Why does she have no money to buy her own pollen juice (ruder)? Why did she string him along? She must have known about his romantic feelings, because the only times a man would ever be that attentive to a woman is when he wants something very important: love or lunch. And we know all about his lunch.

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In my days as the Number One Debutante in Manila (currently at number five, but working hard to return to the top), I knew very well when an Old Money Guy liked me. He hung around like a bad cold and gave me things. The only way to get rid of this ill wind was to make feelings perfectly clear by giving him a white handkerchief, on which the word, “No,” was inscribed in red lipstick, and returning all his gifts—except perishables and diamonds of a certain clarity. The perishables yaya eats, the diamonds I have reset.

And why is the woman so oblivious to the man’s feelings? Why did she leave him after he pushed her decrepit jalopy back to life (rude)? Why does she have no money to buy her own pollen juice (ruder)?

Inversely, I did do many foolish things when I was under the thrall of someone I desperately liked (older money, large jaw, crazy). For a while (all of seven years), I believed all of the sweet insincerities that fell out of his mouth, even if all signs, including several bad omens from fortune tellers and one staggering incident when he pretended not to know me (rudest), told me to get the hell out. Why did I do that?

And why did this short film also string me along? I was impatiently hoping for a happy ending, but it turned out to be as forlorn as a Jane Austen novel or a European film or a Jane Austen European film. If I wanted to watch something sentimental, I would have fast forwarded to my favorite Austen movie scenes: Kate Winslet crying over Willoughby in the rain and Kiera Knightley rejecting Darcy amid the rain.

So, Old Yaya, what are you trying to tell me? I, Truly Rich Lady, promise that I am really over my Legendary Ex, who may actually be eating that squab in New York at the moment, so get me some of that good chicken from that corner joint please, because being the masochist that I am, I want to watch this again.

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C.C. Coo
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