New Year's Resolutions For Social Climbers

A new year is a clean slate-a fresh coat of paint, a chance to begin again, and a well-intentioned metaphor all in one.

You too can pick up a thing or two from this preppy New Year commandments of a bonafide TRL.

1. Re-wax your Barbour jackets. (They've been through hell and back more times than Dante, so do them this small service.)

2. Acquire more crystal glassware. Also: get fewer degenerate, clumsy friends.

3. Organize your library by color. It'll make you feel better about not having read all of them (yet).

4. Don't beat yourself up over mistakes. You're not perfect, no matter what your dermatologist says.

5. Choose healthy snacks in lieu of garbage. Cheese is "good fat" and olives have very few calories, FYI.

6. Donate to your alma maters. How else will your unborn albeit already ungrateful kids get in?

7. Spend more time with family and friends. They know you too well and still love you. Cherish them.

8. Write more letters. Consider it your civic duty to help bring back snail mail, and with that letterpress and good stationery.

9. Quit smoking, even on rare occasions. Tiffany doesn't sell vapes, so what's the point?

10. Exercise more. In a cruel twist of fate, gin metabolizes into sugar. Sugar that needs to be worked off.

11. Get out of your comfort zone. Remember that getting too comfortable is what got you mired in that unfortunate athleisure phase.

12. Cook dinner more often. "Cook" and "dinner" are loose terms though.

13. Donate more to charity. You want to be referred to as a philanthropist in your obit, don't you?

14. Clean out your closet. Make piles of stuff you're keeping, donating, tossing, or letting your cousins have a gladiator-style match over.

15. Say "no" more often. If you're going to grow up to be a crotchety grand dame, you have to practice now.

16. Wake up earlier. Early bird gets the worm something something… more time for coffee!

17. Make your vacation days count. No checking e-mails on the golf course!


18. Drink more water. You can already drink like a fish, put that skill to good use.

19. Don't let social media dictate your sense of well-being. Remember that all those smiling, perfect children in your college suite-mates holiday card are just an edited version of the truth.

20. Use sunscreen every day. If not for your health, at least for your vanity.

21. Go antiquing more. Those shabby-but-beloved heirlooms won't collect themselves.

22. It may actually be time to cool it on the pink and green. Pink and red, now there's a color combination for the ages.

23. Weather-proof and resole your shoes. Treat your shoes with respect and they'll go more than the extra mile for you. Even when you pun.

24. Take care of your financial health. Diversify your portfolio; you'll sleep better with a wider safety net.

25. Host more parties. Life is too short for the cyclical pattern of abuse that is constant Netflix binges. Put that meticulously curated bar cart and glassware to good use.

26. Be more spontaneous. Credit card points and frequent flyer miles don't spend themselves.

27. When in doubt, overdress for the occasion. Looking better than everyone else—it's a lifestyle.

28. Remember that tradition is worth preserving only when it honors our best qualities. Justice and compassion always trump the status quo.

This story originally appeared on Townandcountrymag.com.
* Minor edits have been made by the Townandcountry.ph editors.

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